Intern John & Your Morning Show

Intern John & Your Morning Show

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Why Being Pessimistic Is Ruining Your Dating Life

Offended millennial couple avoid talking after fight

Photo: fizkes / iStock / Getty Images

Cynicism is the slow poison of modern dating. Walk in expecting the worst, and you’ll find it. Here’s how to break the cycle.

Cynics love to say they’re "tired of dating," but let’s be real: you’re not burnt out from dating – you’re burnt out from treating every interaction like a rigged game. If every date starts with the assumption it’ll suck, of course, it feels exhausting. So you take a break, convincing yourself you’re protecting your peace. But when you return, it’s the same profiles, the same war crimes. Because here’s the truth: the cynicism you think is keeping you safe? It’s the very thing keeping you stuck.

While cynicism feels like armour, Or more so a shield against disappointment it can actually be the exact opposite. According to our experts cynics misjudge others, assuming selfishness where there is none. This tends to erode trust, blocks connection, and leaves you emotionally drained.

When you approach dating with a cynical mindset, your negativity bias kicks in, making you interpret neutral actions as threats. A late reply? They’re playing games. A slightly awkward first date? Ick! What a weirdo. Someone who's excited to meet you? Probably a narcissistic love bomber.

When you expect the worst, you’ll find proof of it – even when it’s not real. 


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