Most people have an idea of what they’re looking for in a partner and their checklists may relate to the person’s appearance, job, and interests. And while those things are important, research has found the most important factor for a successful long-term relationship is emotional intelligence - which is someone’s ability to manage and communicate their emotions respectfully and being able to have empathy for others. So how can you tell how emotionally intelligent someone is early on? Watch out for these clues on a first date.
- How they deal with staff or uncomfortable situations- If your date loses it on a server for spilling a drink or bringing the wrong order, that’s a huge red flag. Becoming explosive, using aggressive language, or cursing at staff shows they can’t manage their emotions, so proceed with caution.
- Listen to how they talk about their exes- Pay attention if a past relationship comes up and your date blames everything on their ex or only talks negatively about them. If there’s still a lot of hostility about their former flame, they may still need more time to process the breakup.
- Boundaries- Do they share too much too soon? Do they stand too close to you or touch your leg too early on the date? Notice your reactions to their stories and behaviors and trust your intuition if you feel they’re crossing a boundary.
- How they listen to you- Emotional intelligence includes being curious about others and being able to listen and ask questions. Responding and relating to you with a comment like “Wow, that must’ve been tough” shows they’re paying attention and trying to learn more about you.
- But remember, it’s the first date- Take it easy on the judgements on the first date because it’s normal to be nervous early on. Watch out for these red flags, but it may take more than one date to evaluate their emotional intelligence accurately.
Source:Mind Body Green