The average adult is holding onto six grudges right now according to a recent poll. The problem is when we hold onto a grudge for too long and it starts to bottle up inside. “Grudge dumping” is when one of those grudges leads to an emotional outburst.
Sean Grove, who coined the term explains, “grudge-dumpers are usually at the end of their rope; their patience has run out. Because the unrelieved pressure is so sizable, they feel justified in dumping their grudges in the forms of temper tantrums, explosive arguments, and words designed to produce maximum hurt.”
- We see the play out in two ways: ghosting and blame-shifting.
- Either way, the relationship won’t end well.
Here’s how to avoid grudge-dumping
- Write a letter to alleviate built up anger
- Find a meditator to guide you through a mutual conflict
- Speak up early in the conflict and address your frustrations right away