To be single and dating is one thing. But to be single and not dating AT ALL is a whole new ball game for me.
After so many failed attempts of having that Nathan and Hailey (#OTH) love I have...given up. Not in the defeated kind of way but more in the "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity" kind of way. Clearly, I am missing something and the constant swiping on dating apps was not helping.
I bet you are wondering "what is the point of this post?"...Well...for the first time in FOUR years I am going to be single during cuffing season. According to psychology.com cuffing season is:
Cuffing season refers to a specific time of year when people become extremely motivated to get "coupled up." It generally occurs from October to March.
Somehow for the past couple of years I was sipping warm cider or heading down to Woodley Park to see the zoo lights with SOMEONE but this year I have decided to take a break from dating altogether and the ultimate test is upon me.
So if you are like me, and are heading into the colder months solo, here is how I am getting through it.
- Blocking anyone who gets engaged, married, or gave birth: This will only ignite your jealousy so why have that negativity on your feed. Just kidding. When I see these celebratory posts, I have changed my mindset from jealousy to being happy for the person and getting excited that I will be in their shoes one day.
- Doing self-care for me ONLY: Back when I was dating, I constantly had smooth legs, manicured hands, and neutral makeup. But now my nails are done when I want them to be done (and they have only grown stronger with the break in manis). I can wear oversized holey shirts whenever and if I want to rock blue eyeliner, I can without the fear of turning the guy off. I also really enjoy when I do get to dress up for other things because I know it is 1000% for me.
- Doing activities for me and not because they are impressive: Did I spend all weekend tracking down what Salvation Army Zara donates their stock to? Yes. Because I wanted to.
- Going on more solo dates: I am going to be honest, the first one was awkward and Ill make another post about this but eventually, you'll just stop caring about doing what YOU WANT TO DO by yourself.
- Doing nothing with my extra free time: Think about it. When you find your person your time will be shared for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. So you better enjoy sleeping all Saturday with no plans while you still have time.
Dating, while it is fun, can be life-consuming. Not just time-consuming. And if you are competitive like me, you are going to do all you can to put your best self forward to get what you want... but at what cost? Not one to blame but myself but what I have learned over these past nine months is that I need to get back to being me and "my person" will follow suit whenever the time is right.