Expand your dating vocabulary!
“I was approaching my 30th birthday and Gavin had asked me to take the Monday off after it. I incorrectly assumed he was taking me on a surprise getaway for my big day so on that Saturday morning, I asked what and when I needed to pack. He replied, “just trust me, you’ll know when you need to know!” We started the perfect Fall day with breakfast at our donut spot and then moved on to mango margaritas nearby (our favorite). Afterwards, we set off towards #ProspectPark and Gavin mentioned that “in hindsight, all the places we go today will make sense”. At that moment I thought ‘Bingo – This is a scavenger hunt and we’re getting closer to finding out what our destination is!’ My mind was running – why did we go here, and there, and why this order?! As we walked through the park, Gav led us to a quiet path overlooking a lake and paused at a sunny clearing with no one around. Having found the perfect spot, Gav said “I think now is a good time for your next clue.” (Time to find out where we we’re jet-setting to, I thought!) When he turned to dig into his backpack, I saw a little black box and my heart sped up while the world slowed. Then, he got on one knee and asked if I would be his partner, teammate and wife, and I couldn’t even articulate a yes. I was in shock and in tears from the moment I saw the box...”
Caspering \kas·per·ing\ n
A friendlier—if still frustrating— type of ghosting. The person hasn’t asked you out again, but they usually reply very nicely to your texts.
Daterview \dat·er·vyü\ n
A date that feels less butterfly inducing and more like you should have brought your résumé. You’re barraged with a line of questions about school, work, family, where you grew up, etc.
Catch and Release\ kach andri·les\ vb
When someone puts all their effort into pursuing you until they “catch” you. But as soon as you finally agree to a date, they lose interest in favor of a new target.
When you keep flirting with a few “cushions” (other prospects) just in case your current relationship implodes and you need someone to soften the fall—fast.
Dicksand \dik·sand\ n
An extremely powerful force that can make a woman become so preoccupied with the guy she’s hooking up with that she loses sight of her own identity and disappears on all her friends.
Lovebombing \lov·bäm·ing\ n
When someone drops over-the-top affection and gifts on you during the beginning of the relationship as an attempt to build trust…but also to establish an unhealthy level of control over you for the long haul.
Matrimania \ma·tri·ma·ne·a\ n
Excessive enthusiasm for weddings and marriage, which annoys your single friends (if you’re the one getting hitched) or scares off dates (if you’re itching to find The One).
Subbing \sub·ing\ n
Short for subtweeting, or indirectly referencing a love interest in a tweet, FB post, or Instagram caption without ever mentioning their name.
Peacocking \pe·käk·ing\ n
Dressing up in order to gain attention—the way peacocks display their feathers. Can also refer to a dude doing a good deed only to impress you.
Nonversation \nän·ver·sa·shun\ n
Uninspired banter or small talk with a dating-app match that pretty much goes nowhere, doesn’t really appeal to either party, and fails to encourage a date.
Monkeying \mon·ke·ing\ n
Hopping from one relationship to the next without a break in between, like a primate swinging from branch to branch with no intention of slowing down.
Zombieing \zäm·be·ing\ n
The attempt to come back into an ex’s life after successfully ghosting out of the relationship months prior. The most common method is sending a random “Heyy” text.