You haven't really lived until you've gone through a messy breakup, am I right? Maybe, who really knows. I just like to tell myself that.
If you're going through a breakup right now just know I feel your pain. I can say a bunch of cliche things here, but I think it's best to keep your head up and try to do as I say, not as I do. Seriously.
So, since I've been working on self-care or self-help, whatever you'd like to call it, I'm going to give you some advice!
1) Say Words of Encouragement to Yourself!
In my recent breakup I kept thinking of the things I wish I had done. The good times, the great times and what I could have done to fix the bad times. Is that healthy? Absolutely not. Do most people go through this during a breakup? Definitely.
BUT, that's not going to do you any good! Try telling yourself words of encouragement throughout the day. This will help you build yourself up! You'll get stronger and it will help you deal with your grief. Instead of replaying things that make you sad over and over again, encouraging yourself will help you build up your confidence!
2) Allow Yourself to Feel All the Emotions!
So, this advice was given to my by my therapist. Yes, I go to talk therapy and there's no shame! She told me diving into my feelings is the best way to get through a breakup. You're going to go through a lot of emotions, so instead of repressing them feel them! Don't be scared, the more you push those feelings away, the harder it is to move on!
3) Try Not to Overindulge
During a breakup all those common destructive behaviors like partying, binge drinking and binge eating are just a distraction from what's really going on. Numbing the pain isn't going to help you in the long run and it's just going to come back and hinder your healing. Yes, it's ok to go out for happy hour and casually drink with friends, just don't let it take over your life!
4) Don't Repeat the Past to Yourself Over and Over!
Don't pull a Carrie Bradshaw after Big left her at the alter and keep telling the same stories from your relationship over and over again! It's normal to think about stories together, but fixating on it and sharing them over and over again isn't going to help you get over the breakup. It will also block the opportunities in front of you!
5) STAY BUSY!
Since my breakup I have deleted all of my social media, I have started to workout again, I've been running almost daily, I have started to paddle board several times a week, I started a podcast with Kala, I started to work on DIY projects I'd been putting off for months or even years, I've watched movies that I had been wanting to see for awhile and most importantly I have spent a lot of time talking and being with friends! I've been working on my happiness, figuring out my passions and working on me!
This has served as a reminder that my relationship didn't define me, that I can make myself happy and I have a lot to offer the world!
Now, get out there and work on you! If you need anything, feel free to e-mail me! I'm always here to talk if need be!