1) #Feminism
“Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.” – Gretchen
2) FETCH
"That is so fetch!” – Gretchen
3) If you see something, say something
“There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.” – Janice
4) Secret hair
“That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.” – Damian
5) ESPN or something ...
“It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well…they can tell when it’s raining.” – Karen
6) She's a cool mom!
“Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.” – Regina’s mom
7) BEST SCENT EVER
“You smell like a baby prostitute.” – Janice
8) HOOP EARRINGS. That is all.
“If only you knew how mean she really is, you’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Two years ago, she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoop,s and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.” – Gretchen
9) Pink is life.
“On Wednesdays, we wear pink.” – Karen
10) Mr. Weiners is IMPORTANT
“I don’t think that my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.” – Gretchen
11) Not a regular mom
“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” – Regina’s mom
12) Preach!
“I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m popular.” – Gretchen
13) Loser? Really?
“Get in loser. We’re going shopping.” – Regina