Next Wednesday, May 24, I turned 27.
Sure, a quick Google search will give you link after link to 'X things you should know by Y' articles, but this isn't one of them. By no means am I trying to preach to you what you should know by X age, but I do want to share what I've learned, or unlearned, by age 27.
So, for now here is what I've got:
Forgive yourself first. From making bad choices to breaking your own heart, learn to forgive yourself. Accept and learn from your actions and the outcome of the choices you've made. Then, after you learn to forgive yourself first, forgive the ones who have fallen short and couldn't love you when you needed them too. Just forgive it all.
Let them! Insecurities tend to play tricks on us and make us think there is no way someone in our lives could love us for who we really are. Well, at least that has happened to me. It's important to allow people to love you exactly for who you are.
You deserve healthy, unconditional love because you are you! Not because you worked for it and you've done everything right. Remember that.
Learning to love being alone is something that will change your life. I struggled with this a lot over the years, and recently, but in the words of Warsan Shire, “My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.”
Don't fight against the current, sometimes it's pointless.
There will be times when you fall apart and may not even recognize yourself. Be gentle with yourself as you figure out life and put the pieces together. Not everything is going to workout the way you want and being your own worst enemy will only drag you down.
When you find those amazing people who lift you up, always will lend an ear and help you get out of your own way - hold on to them.
*Love you LBM
This is one I struggled with for a long time, but you will lose people you love. But, you will breathe through it all and grow.
Pain, it's unavoidable. You will feel pain in life, but you don't have to suffer. With pain will come lessons that you need to learn that will help you in life!
You're never going to feel 100% ready and honestly, there isn't really a such thing as the 'right time'.
Identify your flaws and own them before someone thinks they have to.
Whatever you believe in, whatever makes you feel closer to divine, hold onto that. My God might not be your God and that's ok.
Make peace with your past and while they may be painful life lessons, they are also gifts.
Another thing I struggled with *cough* thanks anxiety *cough*. Realize that things you're losing sleep over night, likely won't matter in 5 years. Heck, likely won't matter in 5 months! It will make life a little easier and you'll get more sleep.
There are few things in life that are better than crying with your bestie, preferably with lots of wine.
Understanding your parents are human and not immortal will bring you closer. Take the time to learn from and about your parents. Recipes, lessons, traditions, and so one. These are the things that are going to keep them alive long after they're gone.
Don't keep leaving it up to your dad to help you with.
Being vulnerable helps you connect to people on a deeper level. Vulnerability with the right people can help you not only with relationships, but can help you heal from emotional pain too.
"No." It's a complete sentence. Save yourself time and energy by learning to say "No" without feeling guilty.
Life will unfold as it unfolds. Don't rush! Don't do something or feel pressured into rushing things because of age or people around you are doing it. Stay present and in the moment by slowing down.
Bouncing back after a night of drinking doesn't exist for me anymore. Trust me.
Take the time to focus on you! Work on things that you are unhappy with, maybe you want to tone up, want better hair, whatever. Invest in yourself, work on yourself and TREAT YO SELF.
Ok, seriously. I'm a big advocate for 'Treat Yo Self Tuesdays'!
Sometimes it's nice to enjoy life without the background noise. It helps you focus and learn about you!
... find the goodness and keep going!
Don't get wrapped up in whatever it may be. Head up, eyes forward, keep moving!
You will outgrow friends on your journey to self-discover and that's ok!
... I think?
As a media and communications major, I can't stress this enough. Read everything and please please please from reliable sources with different views. It will help you find that gray area and create your own opinions.
But, for the sake of your sanity don't over do it.