Happy National Pet Day!
You may have seen me referencing "Slutty Cat"... She's my cat. My 10 year old torti who has a very scandalous past [may or may not be like her mother.. no comment].
Ya see.... she used to be allowed outside... where she'd meet all of the no good street boys who would take her out until all hours of the night and do who knows what. She had at least three she was juggling between and I s#!* you not they would come to our front door waiting for her to sneak out and run off.
Then... the b got pregnant because OF COURSE SHE DID.
For some reason, two of the hoodlums stopped coming around... so I figured I knew which one was the baby daddy. He'd creep from the window and just watch her getting ready to give birth. That was until I told him he couldn't come around unless he was gonna pay up on child support. The next time he came to the house, my parents' cat fought baby daddy, and unfortunately lost. Uncle Biggsby ended up in the hospital, but luckily we never saw that a-hole Baby Daddy again.
Slutty gave birth to 5 kittens, but only two survived. :( I live-streamed the whole thing in true slut-fashion and upwards of 500 people watched and helped me figure out what to do when she birthed the stillborns. We found the little babes new homes and hear from them occasionally, but she's not fit to be a mother so I let her know the big stuff- like her son Rhett has come out of the closet and likes to hump his own brother. She was proud, of course.
She's since been "fixed," which only makes her hate all the other girls getting the attention. She's gained a lot of weight and has a huge FUPA that swings when she runs. For a while I think she missed her old life, but she seems to be well-adjusted now. We'll see what happens when she really gets into her senior-citizen-wanna-hump-all-the-boys stage in life.