I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS RIGHT NOW. WHAT IS THIS THING IN HIS PANTS!?!?!?!? 

 It can't be his junk... can it?!?!? Cuz if it is, I feel bad for the fella. Every woman would see it, cry, and run away. Unless she's a nasty kind of porn star. 

Here's my explanation for how it would go: