I made the mistake of clicking on this ARTICLE, but I am glad I did because it gave me the inspiration to write a response letter. Here it goes!
Dear Laura Argintar,
How lucky are you that you have not experienced the "horrifically scary" ordeal of child birth, but that also means you have never experienced the feeling of loving someone the moment you know they existed. That's kind of cool.
I just wanted to clarify a few things, seeing as how you have never actually given birth and seem to be confused.
Giving Birth to Your Placenta- though surprising, really not a big deal. Sometimes you even get an awesome story out of it. My placenta was so stubborn that I actually had to stand like a sumo wrestler to get it out, and once it decided to come out, it actually flew out, shot across the room, and splattered on my best friend's jacket. We got a good laugh out of that.
Vagina Facelift- I will be perfectly honest, I like my vagina much better now, it looks the same and for some odd reason sex for me is much better after having a baby...who knows though, I MUST be one of the lucky ones!
Vaginal Tearing-yeah it COULD happen, but not to everyone and most providers do not actually cut women anymore. I believe I had one stitch! You know what's way more gruesome, breaking every bone in your hand...I did that once it sucked! I will take that one stitch any day over that.
The Umbilical cord- So let me get this straight, the lifeline between a mother and her child grosses you out? Girl please! Watch Two Girls One Cup and then, and only then, will you fully understand what gross is.
Not Being Able to Eat- Listen big hungry, you will be ok. Millions of people every day fast or diet because they want to look or feel a certain way. When a doctor tells you you can't eat (which by the way not all of them do) you don't care, all you really want is to meet this little person you have been growing for what seems like forever. Plus at this point in your pregnancy you have probably eaten enough. For someone like you, who is more concerned about eating than bringing life into the world, I am very glad you have no interest in becoming a mother.
Soft Alien Baby Heads- Again, this grosses you out? Please once again refer to the above umbilical cord explanation. Also do you know how many people can't "grow" out of abnormalities and deformities? You must be grossed out all the time! I feel bad for you having to live a life like this.
The Mucous Plug- Didn't have one of those, or at least never discovered or encountered it, but regardless the end result is worth it. TRUST ME!
You Sh*T Yourself- Hey Sh*t happens, not to all of us, but it did to me and I had to ask my best friend because I didn't even know. No big deal, especially because I can name at least 5 friends who either ate the wrong thing or had a drunken night go wrong and they shat themselves and you know what...they didn't even get a baby afterwards! Now THAT WOULD SUCK!
Here's the thing Ms. Argintar,
what I don't think you thought about was the ramifications of your article. It is misinformation like this that makes women see birth horribly instead of the amazing thing that it is. It is information like this that leads to unnecessary epidurals, scheduled C-Sections and ridiculous amounts of non-needed medical interventions (and I am not at all saying that all women need to have a natural birth, because that is not for everybody, I am purely speaking on articles like this causing fear-based decisions).
The female body is more than capable of giving birth, it's not a scary thing until someone tells you that it should be. It was never meant to be.
You know what is scary? growing a little person for 40 weeks and worrying all the time that it is not moving enough, that at some appointment you may not hear his/her heartbeat...which happens to a lot of women! It happened to two that I personally know!
Scary is having that "gross umbilical cord" wrapped around your baby's neck and holding your breath for what feels like forever until you hear your baby cry...happened to me and I had never been so scared in my life!
Scary also is an emergency C-Section where the result is you wake up only to be handed a little girl that did not survive! Happened to my sister. RIP to my beautiful niece MaLiyah.
I also can't help but think of the many women who can't get pregnant, who try, and try and try...the anticipation, the stress, the emotional roller coaster...That's scary.
Having a baby is a blessing, it's a natural thing, and it's the most beautiful thing I have ever done! Way to speak on something you know NOTHING about.
Sincerely, a current pregnant woman who is actually SCARED daily for this little person growing inside of me and a mom of a beautiful 2.5 year old girl who ripped me, made me poop myself and has been the light of my very existence since the day I met her!